Wtf? maybe I’m a sleepwalker and I eat soap because I’m hungry? I don’t really know but it’s weird.

I’ve lost 5 years of diary, my feelings, my food diary, my past… everything I’ve been trought in this years. The weird thing is I knew it was going to be closed so I’ve tried to move it to another site and it didn’t worked but after this I didn’t tried to find another way to save it. I’m one of this person who’s so attached to the past and I know this isn’t a good thing but I can’t help it. So it’s very strange from me… let it be lost. 

Aside of that I should focus on finding a work and studing for another drive exam, but everyday when I wake up I feel so depressed and I feel like I can’t do anything. At the end of the day the only thing I’ve done is counting calories and thinking about how I’m not good enough for anything. Life goes on, people move on and I’m stuck here. I keep say to myself I have to start get my ass up and do something but then I feel like I can’t… I can’t do anything.

One part of me would make my dreams come true, work for them; but the other part just want to disappear.